Apparently a gaggle of nobles spent all last night hiding festive eggs around Durotar, most of them containing candy surprises, but a few of them with more valuable items. Ysa wanted to look for a dress – I accompanied her to dispose of all the excess candy. I just hate to think of those poor sweets melting in the sun, uneaten, all that lovely chocolate running into the red dust… I couldn’t let it happen! Orcs value a noble death in battle, so I’m sure candy from Orc lands would feel the same. All told, I managed to send a phalanx of a dozen candy bars to their glorious demise – I also wiped out of a score or more of lollipops and at least a regiment of chocolate squares.
Unfortunately the blazing Durotar sun must’ve been especially strong that day, because I began to feel just a little ill. To avoid heatstroke, I was forced to beat a hasty retreat, but the chocolate of Durotar will sing of me in song and story for years to come.
Archive for April, 2007
Ovopositing!
Beneath the Planet of the Dwarves!
Last night Fineas invited me to help explore an archaeological dig in the heart of dwarven territory. The results were amazing! As we administered the colonoscopy of inquiry upon the bowels of antiquity, we unearthed polyps of discovery both benign and malignant. First, there were the troggs, creatures I’d first encountered deep below Orgrimmar, but seen here in their full robust vigor, large as gorillas with pustules the size of my head! Then there were the earthen, and the ancient statues, and the room with the discs… and the astonishing revelation that dwarves and troggs are related, both the results of some earlier generation of experimenters known as ‘the creators’!
The skills of the creators certainly ‘dwarf’ mine at this point, but with this new knowledge, perhaps I’ll unlock the secret of dwarf-trogg crossbreeding – it will require a lot of alcohol, and probably nearly as much soap, but I’m sure it’s possible! Who knows… maybe in some far future time, my descendants will crack open a vault in the ruins of Silvermoon and pry discs describing the origin of the dwoggs from my crumbling, skeletal fingers! I can only dream!
