Fandaleen’s Explorations

I really ought to have written this up earlier – things have been busy lately what with attacking castles in the swamp and nearly being eater by trolls and gorillas and MOSQUITOS in the jungle and all manner of other diversions. So before it slides out of my head entirely, here’s what happened with Kaste’s fingers.
We traveled to Dun Morogh… exhausting journey… and managed to find a donor. We tried to negotiate for his fingers, but he just up and attacked us! Well, one thing led to another and he ended up buying the snow farm, and, well, there was no sense in looking a gift hand in the mouth. So I popped the fingers off of Mr. Antagonistic and onto Kaste and presto! Five fingered hands! They looked a little funny but they worked fine! Now that I’ve mastered the art of doing this operation on trolls, I’ll have to try it on a less naturally regenerative race. Gnomes are inquisitive, aren’t they? I’m sure I could find a volunteer in the gnome ruins where I got this lovely hat… but the hat is a story for another time. Right now I’m talking about fingers. Where was I? Oh yes, they worked perfectly! Eventually some of them went numb and fell off, but other than that, a total success!

It took a great deal of effort and many wrong turns, and by the end of the week I was very glad that I learned how to grab escaping ghosts and shove them back into their bodies, but I was successful! I was able transplant my subjects’ fingers onto the opposite hands, onto his feet, into his ears … anywhere, all over his body! Also, I put a row of fangs down his back, as a bonus. Subject looks impressively fearsome and will probably become the champion of his tribe as soon as his sanity returns!
Now that I know I can do this, it’s time to get Kaste his extra fingers! The sole problem is that while forest trolls are absolutely growing on trees around here, the only ice trolls I can track down are a few settlements living in Dun Morogh, deep in the dark, cirrhosis-ridden liver of the dwarven kingdom. I only hope that we can convince the guards at the mountain pass that our mission is worthy – but I suspect we may be getting hammered for science.

Kaste approached me recently with an unusual request – could I add two more digits to each of his hands? I’m not sure why he wants them, but far be it from me to look a gift experimental surgical procedure in the mouth! If I can manage to mult-dactyl him up to a full fistful of fingers, who’s to say I couldn’t graduate to whopping a few extra arms on here and there? That’s what I love about being on my own, whenever I wanted to delve into anything fun, Mother would always complain about “madness” this and “creating abominations in the eyes of all that is decent” that and so on. If somebody hadn’t dared to create, the world never would have known marvels like the shrink ray and the two-headed ogre!
I bribed one of the local Amani trolls with giant growth potions to agree to be my test subject. I think I’ve finally got that one almost down – the last batch I made just turned my left thumb really big for an hour but now I’m sure I have it right. Anyway, his name is Zeg, but for convenience’ sake I’ll simply refer to him as Digital Transplant Subject A. I don’t really know how I’m going to move his fingers around, but I guess experimental surgery is a little like dancing – you’ve just gotta get over your self-consciousness, jump out on that dance floor and figure it out as you go!